(Library of Congress, Gottscho-Schleisner Collection July 1950)
At first glance this picture seems ridiculous to me. A husband and wife -separated by a partition so that the wife can nurse their baby. It’s as if seeing the nursing woman should somehow be un-wholesome. But really, what could be more wholesome, more loving?
I’d like to think things have changed since the 1950’s- but in some ways I don’t think they have. I often feel like the woman in this picture. Not in my own home- thank goodness! But whenever I’m out with our baby Molly, I am keenly aware of how long I have until she will want to nurse. And I scan whatever store, or park we are at to see if there is anywhere to go. I’ve nursed Molly while sitting in a dirty public toilet stall more than once. It’s a nightmare negotiating the door, and cramped corners all while trying not to let the baby touch anything- and trying to hunch over because there is nothing to lean against.
I’ve also tried nursing Molly discreetly under a blanket while sitting at a restaurant, or at a park. And I’ve noticed concerned glances. That has caused me to go a lot fewer places with Molly. I limit any long amount of time to basically just one mall nearby us. It offers a room for nursing moms- which is super. But more than providing a place for nursing moms, I wish that our society was more welcoming of moms that nurse in public.
While my own sense of modesty probably wouldn’t lead me to breastfeed in public without a cover up, I do think that should be okay. I think it sends a terrible message not just to mothers who nurse, but to everyone when nursing moms are made to feel they are doing something wrong by feeding their children.
After all- there are Victoria’s Secret stores & Frederick’s of Hollywood stores in malls all over America! How is it okay that those stores have huge displays in the windows, full of half naked women in suggestive poses- but a mother nursing her baby is considered racy? I mean there are teenagers, and children that walk by those displays. The pictures in those windows show much more cleavage than a nursing mom is likely to show, even without a cover up.
I would hope that by the time my Molly is a mom, that perhaps society would have a change of heart- and be more welcoming of moms nursing wherever they are. And I hope she’ll never feel compelled to nurse in a public toilet stall. I hope instead she will feel free to nurse her baby wherever her baby is hungry, and that the only “looks” she’ll get from passers by- will be smiles๐
About Shannon SchmidShannon traded in her sensible NYC TV producer shoes (they were best for taking the subway), for a pair of Texas Cowboy boots when she married her best friend! He's at fault for making this Yankee a Texan! Shannon writes about all things that make a house a home. Her chief blogging inspiration is being the proud & slightly neurotic mom of a preschool age daughter.
You can find Shannon on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and her new favorite place to hang out, Google+.
Shannon,
I will say, that I was SO aware with Zachary where I was, who was around, what did I have to cover myself. With Jackson, I would be suprised at the number of people who HAVEN’T seen me nurse. I even managed to embarass a Target employee when Jackson was 5 weeks old. I had him in a sling and had pulled the shirt to the side and he was nursing as I shopped and some woman in the freezer section came up and without asking went to peek in at the tiny bundle and got an eye full of you know what ๐ xoxo
Terra
lol. Well I guess that will teach her her to invade a baby’s space without asking!
I think it’s great that you can be so relaxed about breastfeeding now Terra. I hope in time I can follow. It just annoys me so greatly when I get a disapproving glance- that I tend to avoid the scenario all together.
But truthfully- the more women breastfeed un-ashamedly as you do, the sooner society will likely get over the shock of a woman’s breast being used for something besides sexuality. Go you:)
Wow Molly looks so little in that pic! I can’t say exactly how I would feel having to nurse (as I am not a mom now) but at the moment its upsetting to think of you having to breastfeed in a public toilet!! (although I’m sure the public restrooms in texas are a thousand times more sanitary than the ones in nyc lol) This is a very serious topic I think because it leads into so many other topics (like if someone believes in breastfeeding in public, are they for public nudity? or if someone isn’t for public nudity, are they against breastfeeding?) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as long as there is some covering of the breast…I don’t think it is gross in any way but I just think that, for the same reason I wouldn’t want a man wearing very loose fitting boxers and showing “himself” in the train/or store/or mall (even though that would be kind of funny!) there should be some covering of private parts (unless in like in a big park or a more private beach).
Martin thinks that if on a subway or a bus is inappropriate because people have nothing better to do then stare at you and that would be uncomfortable…but if anywhere else, it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Okay, but think about this. Does Martin have a problem with subway billboards that have lingerie models on them? What about subway ads for escort services, with women in suggestive poses? Do those make him feel uncomfortable?
That’s what gets me about people who have a problem with a woman nursing, if it makes you uncomfortable- you are totally entitled to NOT LOOK! lol.
In fact I’m sure the nursing mom would appreciate you not looking. Nursing is not a sexual thing- it’s a feeding thing! Besides, unless someone is really staring- they wouldn’t even be able to see anything. At most they would see less than if a woman was wearing a low cut top. If a woman has a crying hugnry infant on a subway or bus- should she NOT feed the baby, becuase full grown adults can’t handle it around her? Is that fair to the baby? What does that say about our society? That breasts are ok, displayed in sexual ways for advertising everyday, but breasts being used for the comfort and nurturing of a baby is too much to handle?
well I understand what your saying (I think anyways)but what you seem to be assuming (and this could totally be me) is that feeding a baby is as pleasant to look at as a lingerie model (who really wants to be in the spotlight and is comfortable being there) on a billboad…and that is up to everyone’s own opinion what they think is pleasant to look at…however I think that a big difference between those two things re: “If someone has a crying hungry infant on a subway or a bus…” what would you rather look at – a tired (but beautiful) disheveled (because she’s got the crying baby and is upset at the thought of how she’s going to try to not show her breast while feeding her baby around all these strangers) uncomfortable (because of exactly what we’re talking about lol) woman with a crying hungry (which is a reminder just of life and the pain of being hungry and so small and little, which I also think is beautiful but some people don’t) infant on an already crowded subway/bus with people who are in a rush to get home to their own families? You know, its funny, now that I’m writing this…I think its totally different for each person. Like okay…if a woman is totally comfortable being her sexy self and on a subway/bus with her baby and doesn’t care about what other people think or see, I think that changes things…I think that might be easier to see than an uncomfortable woman who really doesn’t want to be there and she feeds her baby. Maybe its all about what you project???
I agree Shan. As a society we send very mixed messages about breastfeeding. On one hand, you have experts saying that every mother who is able should breastfeed – it’s best for the baby and for the mom and for society at large to have healthier, happier babies. But then when a woman goes to feed her baby via the breast, people can’t handle it saying things like it’s provocative. It’s not! It is NOT SEX!!!!!! I cannot say that emphatically enough! Sex and breastfeeding are mutually exclusive concepts!! I wrote a paper on breastfeeding in grad school and this concept came up. So many women say that they are made to feel like they are doing something wrong – even perverse – by feeding their babies in public. Breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed a child. If you want to get to the finances of it – it helps lift some burden from the healthcare system because breastfed babies go to the doctor far less than those who are not. These babies are better adjusted developmentally and wind up using less resources in general. People should be walking by thanking you for breastfeeding Molly! I hate the idea of you squatting in a bathroom stall trying to feed Molly. It makes me so sad. I hope that people come around in the near term Shan. You’re doing a wonderful thing for Molly – I know you know that. And you’re certainly not being indecent by doing it in public.
Laura said it all, so no point in repeating. Suffice to say I agree with her completely. While I know for many women breastfeeding is not an option (for physical reasons or because of jobs, etc.) I’m very proud of how diligent you’ve been, however difficult, about giving our little girl the best nutrition and nurturing possible. Beyond breastfeeding (the most important thing nutritionally for her during this first year of her life), you are also wonderful about making the organic baby food for her each week. And as the title of your blog says, there’s one more key ingredient… “cuddles!” You give her so much love and attention. You’re the best mother ever. Molly is very lucky.
Great post. I am a nursing mum too and I have felth that kind of embarrassment from other people. I nursed my firstd aughter in UK and they are way more uptight about public breastfeeding there than in Australia where I now live.
I love this post. I so agree… I breastfed my boy till he was 19 months old, and it is a chore going out and trying to find a good (clean, sanitized, airy…) nursing room, and we too have limited our 'outings' to places where we know a nursing room is readily available!
I didn't breastfeed so never had to deal with it. But we did have friends from another country over for dinner one night and she insisted on feeding her baby in our little tiny bathroom! I felt so bad I told her that of course it didn't bother us and she could even have gone in our daughters nursery alone. She didn't want to discuss it at all.
Anyway,I agree the fact that suggestive billboards full of silicone are more acceptable than moms feeding their babies is sickening
I will NEVER and have NEVER nursed my son in a bathroom stall. Nursing is an amazing experience that us mothers get to have with our children. I will never let anyone make me feel bad for taking care of my child. I try to be respectful of others around me but and realize not everyone is as comfortable with breastfeeding as I am. However, I am completely unapologetic about breastfeeding in public.
I actually blogged about this several months ago… http://we3liebs.blogspot.com/2009/08/breastmilk-never-recalled.html
I've read about how unconfortable it is to breastfeed in public in the US and I have to say I cannot understand it. Breastfeeding is a natural act of love and nurture to newborns; there's nothing to be ashamed of. You should be able to do it wherever you had to (after all, it's your child's needs), and definitely NOT in the toilet. I respect you for being that brave and truthful to your beliefs.
Here in Mexico, breastfeeding is still seen as something natural (and I hope it remains that way), so I was very fortunate to breastfeed anywhere; I wasn't limited at all, I just carried my blanket everywhere.
I encourage you to continue breastfeeding, for it is one of the most wonderful things you can do for your beautiful baby.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! I live in Europe and they are much more open about it here. I LOVED it! People would actually look with delight more than scowl…which was strange when they were pulling up my cover, but they were not ASHAMED and they didnt think I should be. AMEN SISTER! LOVE this post! I too spent a few hours in 4'x4' unisex bathroom stall 45 min at a time standing there nursing. WHAT A NIGHTMARE! NEVER AGAIN!
I remember making a comment to a friend about how I would nurse at restaurants (fully covered) and she made a face and said she would NEVER do that. Well guess what sister…you wanna eat? You wanna leave the house for more than 2 hours…then you WILL end up nursing at the table ๐
I agree so strongly. It literally breaks my heart to hear about women like you being shamed out of public view. Not just because your precious bonding moment has been so callously compromised, but because I really do grieve for the people in this world whose senses of morality are so twisted they can't see the beauty of a mother nursing a child. What a dark world that must be to live in.
You should never feel ashamed of feeding your child. A little discrepancy is nice, as the woman not covered up in the middle of a continental breakfast area was not what I'd like to see at 7am, but shoot, you have to feed your child! My husband was just informing me that Target actually called the cops on a woman breast feeding her child. Lucky for me, breast feeding isn't on the list of indecent exposure here in Nevada. Yay! Come on people, get it together, our bodies were made for it!
I felt the exact same way when my son was nursing. I can't even count how many times we didn't go somewhere because it was close to nursing time. Or that I nursed him in a disgusting public bathroom so that people wouldn't stare. And everytime I asked myself the same questions as you are. WHY?! Why can't I just nurse my baby? It's so natural and yet here I am hiding out. Plus as he got older it got worse. I felt like the stares were more obvious, the people less friendly. And like you I did cover up I didn't want the world to see all of me! I was trying to be as discreet as possible. Now I always try to be encouraging when I see Moms in the same position that I was in. People really do need to stop and realize that nursing in public is no more comfortable to the Mom being stared at than it is to the person doing the staring, if anything it's more uncomfortable!
That is so sweet what your husband wrote! Having a supportive partner makes the whole experience so much better. I had a heckuva time BFing. Clogged ducts and mastitis galore. The hubs took such good care of me!
I myself, was never comfortable nursing in public, with or without a blanket. Frankly tandem feeding twins is just not a discreet type activity, but even with my singleton I never did.
But I have no problem with women who do, discreetly. I do have a problem here is Africa where a woman will site on a bench in a busy mall, expose all and feed baby with no cover. I really think that is not fair towards other people that respects privacy.
Sorry, Shannon, I'm one of those old-fashioned people I guess who is uncomfortable seeing a mom nurse in public. It just seems like exposing a breast should be done in private. Certainly moms can plan their schedule around this activity to be home at that time I would think.
Congrats on your SITS day!
Shannon, good for you for breastfeeding. I had issues with my supply and was only able to breastfeed for a limited period of time, but I had the same issue during that time. I felt unwelcome whenever I needed to breastfeed in public – not that I wanted to bare my breasts to the world, but still. This is a tough topic, because it's a very good point, but it seems to me that a lot of people are closed-minded about breastfeeding in public. That's why this mentality still persists after all these years, if you ask me. I sure hope these difficulties don't discourage you from breastfeeding, it really is wonderful that you're doing that for your daughter.
The thought of anyone having to feed a baby in the toilet is horrifying. I hope more people read this and sort out their attitude!
This is so true! I used to nurse in public if I had to with a cover and most people don't know what you are doing-sometimes I think it's the nosey ones/troublemakers are the only ones who realize it because they are checking. Would you believe I had to nurse my son, who was born 2/08, in NICU, behind a screen like that! That blew my mind, every time we nursed, I had to set the screen up first, close to me because of all his wires, just so I wouldn't offend anyone-crazy!
I believe in modesty, but I breastfeed my baby anywhere we go. I make sure I wear appropriate clothing, and that we are discreet, but I'm not going to hide in a bathroom, or not feed my baby because someone is too immature to realize I'm doing the best thing in the world for my baby. I am curious how long you plan on breastfeeding. We're at 26 months.
Surprisingly I never had a problem nursing in public much to the chagrin of some of our friends.(I did cover up with a blanket, so I know the issue was theirs!)
Anyway, I had a embarrassing thing happen shortly after my little one was born that caused me to get over my issues with nursing in public. I took Baby Boy to work a few weeks after he was born so my colleagues could see him. To make a long story short, he had to eat…NOW! The ladies I worked with suggested I go to an empty cube to nurse…a cube that happens to be outside of my bosses office. Since he was in a meeting I saw no harm. No sooner than I sit down and get Baby Boy to latch on, my boss comes back (early). So here I was stuck having to awkwardly say hi.
The worst part, we have a nursing mom's room I could have gone to, but to get there I would have had to walk with a screaming baby through the sales floor and the executive office area. I thought this would be less of a deal to nurse in an isolated empty cube that was in a corner.
Now I look back and laugh!
I'm not touching the breastfeeding issue with a ten foot pole – I stay far far away from that one because I've noticed that in real life, as well as on online boards, it seems to be as controversial of an issue as the death penalty. It boggles my mind, actually.
I will have to admit that once I got the hang of breastfeeding (say, after about 1 month when Stink was born) I partly felt like it was my mission to nurse in public. Restauraunts, grocery stores, parks…anywhere and everywhere. I also partly felt too consumed with needing to feed my baby to care who was watching or not. I pretty much always covered up, or at least made sure I was wearing a nursing top to make the process easier and more discreet.
Now, with Peach, I am still very much the same. If people get more than they bargain for, that's okay too. It's just a nipple.
I was never concerned with nursing in public (covered up). My babies were hungry and that is how they ate. I have nursed at restaurants, while shopping, etc. I think it was my strong sense of it was my right. I never felt uncomfortable or disapproving stares. HOWEVER, a few years ago a woman from my state was nursing a baby in a plane (uncovered) and was asked to cover up because it was making others uncomfortable. She declined saying it was her right to nurse as she found fit so they asked her to please get off the plane and was escorted off! Needless to say a legal battle ensued and she won!
Oh and happy, HAPPY SITS day!
Breast feeding is such a beautiful intimate moment between mother and child. It is sad how it has gotten a bad wrap in the past few decades. I was always discreet when I had no choice but to feed my babies in public-a blanket is great for hiding! I knew which stores at the mall were friendly about allowing moms to use dressing rooms to feed their babies. I have no problem with discreet nursing in public, but I have a sister who was anything but discreet. She could whip out her boob like nobody's business and expose it for several seconds before putting her baby to the breast. It was uncomfortable to my husband. I won't even discuss what the reaction was at church! (Yes, she would do the same thing in church!)
BTW, I have a daughter named Molly too. It is one of my favorite names. I've never met a Molly who wasn't sweet. That is why I chose the name. I'm sure your little Molly will live up to her name.
I totally agree that there is a double standard. It really is sad. I tried to nurse, but it just didn't work out Everyone felt like they had the right to comment on why I should, shouldn't, how to or where to nurse my baby. Why are my breasts open for public discussion? But yet you don't want to see me do it, but you can talk about it.
Karen
Motherhood has enough challenges without worrying about whether you are able to feed your child and at the same time go out in public and have a life!! Breastfeeding didn't work for me, but if it had, I'm sure I would've run into the same problems!
Wow! What a heated debate. I am stopping by from SITS (Happy SITS say by the way!) and I wanted to comment on this. Although I don't have a baby myself, I think that breastfeeding is a wonderful thing if you can do it and it shouldn't be so stigmatized. That being said, I think it makes me uncomfortable when I see it because it feels like I am trespassing on what seems like a very intimate moment, not that she is doing it period. Just a thought. Great post!
I have to say that I totally agree with you. It's amazing what society views as inappropriate. We can say b*tch on tv, but we can't say a*shole or the f-word… it just goes to show you that it's still a male dominated society. I'm totally not trying to sound like a femminist and I hope I don't come across that way, but look at how society portrays women (especially in the media). Women HAVE to be beautiful and svelt to be on tv… men don't have to be anything. It's super gross.
It really feels that we've taken a step back from archaic times when it comes to what is considered appropriate for women. Ok, I'll step off my soap box now ๐
RIGHT ON! I am a modest mom too…so I do nurse discreetly. But I WILL NOT nurse in a bathroom. I'll use my sling in public and no one can tell, or I'll cover with a blanket. It truly brings a smile to MY FACE when I see a mom take a break in a mall, or at the library, or a restaurant, and feed her baby.
read this…..I LOVED it.
http://blessed-quiver.blogspot.com/2009/05/we-all-know-breastfeeding-is-best.html
My "boys" are now 36 and 38 and I nursed them both, whenever and whereever necessary. I did use a cover up, but I refused to be intimidated. Nursing is the most natural thing in the world and I can't believe people are still up tight about it!
I had my son while we were stationed overseas (in Spain) and no one (NO ONE) cared about nursing babies over there. It was just something you did – anywhere. So, I got used to that! When I came to the states to visit family and my son was 3 months old I just kept on doing it. I am not 'busty' (lol) so I could nurse him without a cover and without showing off 'too much' but occasionally I did some flashing! No one ever said anything and I really didn't look around to see if people were looking at me.
I nursed him until he was around 16 months old … He will be FIVE next month.
Amen sister! I have nursed all three of my kiddies, and while I was intimidated with the first, by the third, I am an old pro. I got to be quite accomplished at nursing without exposing myself too much in public, even so far as nursing on long flights without the passenger next to me realizing that that was what I was doing! (I think he was just appreciative that the baby was sooooo good for the flight!) Anyway, I am proud of the fact that my girls were working girls and not just for show (as hubby says!). Glad to know I am not alone!
๐
Good point. Me too, I'm still a little surprise by people's reaction to BFing, I think people should be more surprised to see someone smoking in public.
Crazy.
Sorry, I'm so not cool and just got a real cell phone, I would be no help with an iphone.
That sucks that you wound up in an unhygienic stall! :o(
You make a very good point about all the lingerie ads with half naked models and most men don't feel uncomfortable with them. Actually the female body is used to sell just about everything, so it really is quite strange that when people see a nursing mom, they get so upset. Maybe because it makes them think about what breasts are actually for and that any other "uses" are kind of extra.
Looking at the comments here is quite interesting. I do agree with Jenn though, that nursing can seem like an intimate moment and some people could feel that they are intruding on it.
However, when nursing moms are asked to leave somewhere, I find that to be outrageous and really should be illegal discrimination based on gender. And having to breastfeed in a dirty public toilet? No way! That's just not right!
Okay. I'll calm down now. ; )
Shannon, you raise a really good point about all of the advertising featuring nearly naked women that doesn't raise so much as an eyebrow compared to a woman discreetly nursing in public. I live in a small town in central California where the people tend to be pretty open and forward thinking ~ to the point that things sometimes go to the opposite extreme with people opening their two-year-old at an elementary school "family reading night" for example. That DID raise some eyebrows, but for the most part, public breast-feeding is okee-dokey around here. I wonder what it's like in your old stomping ground of NYC? Interesting how the sentiment changes geographically.
I have older kids now, but I did nurse them when they were younger. I was always so worried and paranoid in public. I remember on the news a woman getting kicked out of a mall of breastfeeding. I just think some people are perverted with it, I might see nipple, that's bad! Whatever….I agree, it is a truly beautiful, nurturing thing that mom's can do for their children.
I haven't ever really thought of breast feeding in public being an issue, I don't have kids and it's just not on my radar….So after reading this post and all the comments I guess I have been in the dark about the whole thing and all I can say is "who cares about the looks, you have to do what you have to do and stay strong!" ๐ Actually give the people with dirty looks, dirty looks right back at them, ha!
I was never able to nurse my two girls (long story), but I don't see anything wrong with nursing in puplic. I think I would use a coverup if I had nursed only because I am very, very modest.
I nursed both of my kids and I know how you feel about keeping track of how long it will be before you have to nurse. I used to nurse in the car quite a bit when we were out (choosing that over public washrooms). But it's really frustrating that so many people look askance at a nursing mother. It's the gift of life for pete's sake! I really wish the general public could get over seeing boobs solely as sex objects.
I nursed my two sons for about three months each and then gave it up. When my daughter came along I nursed her for 18 months. Yeah, that was a long time, but you know what, I just got it into my mind that I was not going to let people dictate what was best for my child. If they were uncomfortable with me feeding my child (under the cover of a cover up) they good just get over it. I too, don't see how we can have a mall full of stores that sell half clothes andpeople still want to give the nursing mothers a wahl-eye. And it's not just the men, its the women too. They need to just get over it already.
It's been a long time since I thought about nursing in public. My boy is grown and getting ready to have a bundle of joy of his own, but back when he was a hungry baby, this issue came up time and time again. I hope that someday soon we will live in a society that doesn't bat an eye at a mother feeding her hungry baby in the most natural and healthy way possible!
While I have never actually experienced nursing, I fully agree with you! I think the intimacy of nursing is probably what makes others uncomfortable, but yanno what? There's nothing wrong with it! I love the way you wrote this post, without being harsh and judgemental, and yet still your opinion is known, and you're not watering it down.
Right on! I love this post. You said it well, and I hope more people, mom's and not-mom's, start to think about this issue.
Thanks for sharing!
Isn't it strange? Fake boobies are hanging out all over the place, but when a natural one pops out to do her job…..Eek….The indecency!
It warms my heart to see a mom who, though she chooses to cover, supports my right not to. THANK YOU SO MUCH. My MiniDork will NOT eat covered. Even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to.
Also, that photo from the Library of Congress is kind of depressing. Wow!
AMen sister. Nursing is a wonderful time for mom and baby, and I think it's utterly (no pun intended) how our supposedly 'forward thinking' society still is in stone age about it. For a society that it's commonplace to see mostly naked women on tv daily, you'd think it would tolerate a natural wonderful event like nursing. But thanks for your thoughts and letting me vent! Happy SITS day to you!!!Nothing is more precious than being a mommy.
I think I became slightly agoraphobic when I started breastfeeding…it was too hard to get home in time so I didn't have to use a dirty restroom stall. And now even though I am not nursing I still feel the pull to stay home with the kids, which isn't healthy!!
Thanks for such an honest and worthwhile post, and happy SITS day!
You make some very good points. Nursing a baby should not be seen as something dirty or wrong. People should not pervert it in that way. It is a beautiful things.
Now on the same note, it is not for everyone but those ppl that didn't choose it should not look down on someone that did and visa versa.
I have to say, that I did not breastfeed…I wanted to but due to a breast reduction surgery in my 20's my kids were starving on the boob so I had to resort to formula. I wish I could have, but I had to endure constant critiques from everyone about how awful it was that I wasn't.
I have NO problem with anyone whipping out the boob wherever they are in order to feed their child. Do what you have to do. When an infant is hungry and they are wailing what else would one do? I have a slight issue with the 2 year olds standing up and attached to their mom's boobs in the middle of a mommy and me class. At 2, I'm pretty sure your kid can hold out long enough to make it through this 45 minute class without a snack. Bring a sippy cup.
But really, to each his own…everyone needs to make their own decisions on this subjects and stay out of each others nursing bras. Especially Men! ๐
Sorry for venting. Happy SITS.
I remember those days when I nursed my daughter. Truly is difficult! Maybe someone should come up with vent/tent type shirt (baby doll style) that would make it virtually unnoticeable! Some mesh for the baby to breath over a thin layer of cotton. A stick inside to tent it up. Hmmmmmmm, any designers out there?
I think as long as you're covered somehow, nobody should say anything! It is completely natural. Unfortunately, I think that people who just let it all hang out in very public places, like a restaurant, are the ones who have made it hard for you. Hopefully it will be better soon!
Happy SITS day ๐
AMEN! I will say that I got a lot more :ahem: adventurous with my second daughter. I didn't have time to worry about what strangers were thinking because I also had a two year old to wrangle. I do hope that when my girls are mothers, attitudes will have changed.
Happy SITS Day again!
HAPPY SITS!
That picture of you and Molly is absolutely adorable. She is perfect!
Who cares what other people think. I breastfed for 18 months. YEP! Brought my pump into work after 6 months and pumped every day. The looks and snickers when I said I had to pump – made me feel badly at first, you know, as if I were stealing time. They were lucky I was there! If I couldn't pump I wouldn't work. Anyhow, off the topic. Breastfeed! You're fine. It's the women with the 7 year olds in places like Grand Central station breastfeeding – Oh Yeah, I saw it – that are a problem!
xx
Cristina
Happy SITS day!!!
I love this post– RIGHT ON. I just weaned my daughter last week after 14 months, and during that time, I got a lot of frowns, a lot of "sighs", and a lot of exasperated looks, even from fellow moms! I was always discreet and rarely nursed in public, but the overwhelming *fear* some people had that I would whip my boob out in the middle of a restaurant or store just terrified people.
My daughter made it 14 months on the breast, and during that time, she only had one minor health episode. I think my milk had a lot to do with that! I think people could learn a lot from nursing moms like us ๐
CONGRATS!
~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com
I couldn't agree with you more. I think boobs – specifically – are seen as something taboo in the US…which is definitely a shame when they are being used as a source of food.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to nurse, because the babe just couldn't latch, but I get the same stare when I try to bottle feed her in public…its garbage!
PS – The picture of Molly is absolutely precious! You are a lucky momma!!
Happy SITS Day!!
~Working Mommy
Happy SITS!
Im not a mom, but lately I've been hearing about this issue from a lot of my friends who are new moms. I feel like hey, moms do what you have to do. It's just life. It's natural.
-Victoria
Valid point, Shannon. I hope you do get your wish for Molly.
Happy SITS day!
Oh so true! I must admit to being of the "I know I'm discreet and I have a hungry baby so stare all you like, mate" brigade… ;O) I think the more we do it, the more people will have no choice to get used to it. I find it weird that some people find it weird, you know? In saying that, people are entitled to an opinion but, like most opinions (not generally based on facts… ;O) they are best kept to oneself. Laughing at myself for even saying such a thing…as if I'd ever keep my opinion to myself…*L*
Lovely to meet you. x
I nursed all five of my children and ended up in some interesting places. It was well worth whatever inconvenience I had.
@cheapchichome.blogspot.com
i have not had a child, but totally get the mommy big whenever i see a mom nursing in public. i am fortunate to live in a town that is very liberal and totally supports mom's nursing in public. it's so beautiful and natural! i hope when molly's a mom our culture will get more laid back!
I couldnt agree with you more Shannon! Im lucky, the community I grew up in is very open minded, but the world is definitley NOT respectful. It bothers me too, for the same reasons. I think people need to get their priorities straight. Im glad Mom's today are taking breastfeeding back into the public!! Good luck to you! You have my support.
Iris ๐
http://www.tilldeathdousart.blogspot.com
I nursed both kids, and to be honest, with my boy (over 9 years ago) I was initially a bit shy, but when he was hungry, he was hungry – I'd just throw a blanket over my shoulder wherever I was. I think after giving birth I found it was hard to be shy about any part of my body anymore!
With the girlie, there was a little more awareness, so most malls have really nice nursing rooms – although unfortunately still located in or near the washroom, lovely … but I would tend to nurse wherever, I guess getting even less shy in my old age.
But BFing is so not sexual, I wish people would get over it … moms are feeding their babies, for crying out loud!
I totally agree that society has not matured in regards to nursing mothers. I often nursed my kids in public, but I'm a pretty oblivious person when out and about, and I (thankfully!) never noticed the stares! (…of which I'm sure there were many!)
Happy SITS Day!
Good for you! As if we've created some weird wacko way to feed our kids. Um, people, it's how our bodies function when we have kids. The milk is there for a reason – 2000 years ago they didn't have Nestle formula!!!
I'm on my second kid of exclusive nursing and I've seen my fair share of glares and concerned looks – and then watch the same people stare and smile perversely at the half naked girl walking by!
Love it -from one nursing mom to another!
Yeah for you saying something. I totally agree.
That surprises me so much…
There is so much suggestive imagery all around us – overt and distasteful. And unsolicited. Parents who've had to turn their children's face away when they unexpectedly encounter the in-your-face suggestiveness that society deems ok understand what I mean.
Why is it that breastfeeding mothers are being depicted as craze-driven, or loopy?
If we're to allow freedom of choice, then one choice shouldn't be less than the other.
And the benefits of breastfeeding are so plentiful, how can you blame a mother for wanting to choose this?
I feel very passionately about this, and I hate that mothers have to nurse in dirty sick bays or toilets.
We keep saying the family is the cornerstone of society and yet anything family-focused seems to be in for more than its fair share of ridicule.
I breastfed my first 2 kids for 3mths and my last is now being breastfed for over a year. Initially I thought I'd stop when she turned 1. Now she's still eating meals with the family, but at nap-times when I'm around she'd prefer to nurse (if I'm not around she takes a bottle). I'm going to let her wean at her pace.
Oh honey. Don't you EVER nurse that precious child in a public toilet stall again! I was unable to nurse my son because of my health, but I certainly wish I could have. I am modest too, and would be as discreet as possible, but you are SO right. Americans are SO backward when it comes to stuff like this! It's okay to have half naked women as objects of lust, but THE most natural thing on earth, a wonderful purpose that only a woman can serve, to feed her child…THAT gets looked down on? God help us all.
You nurse that little one WHEREVER you want to, missy. People can just DEAL with it!
Happy SITS day!
I have this great wrap that let's me feel really pretty reasonably comfortable nursing anywhere (and I'm often a bit on the prudish side). I haven't noticed any stares – but then again, I can be oblivious… The one amusing time was when buying our car – once the finance manager realized what I was doing, he totally stopped making eye contact with me or talking to me!