Okay, well the good news is that “the first date night” I speak of is a doozy! We are going to see U2 in concert! Yay!! And yes, the picture below, is of the CRAZY looking stage they are going to be building in the New Cowboys Stadium next week! So that is going to be super fun!
But… I’m scared to go! Molly is still just a little wee thing. And she has never been left with anyone besides my husband or I. On top of that, she has just gotten her bedtime routine down,and been sleeping through the night perfectly – will this change mess up all that work? Will she be traumatized by mommy and daddy not being there when she goes in her crib? Will she think we left her? These are my worries.
My husband has a saner approach to this. He says we have to leave her at some point, and that we wont be gone that long. Also most of the time we are gone she will be sleeping anyway. Plus, he reminds me that we will have the two best possible babysitters ever. His brother, and our sister in law. They are parents themselves – GREAT, AMAZING parents actually. We love them, and they love our Molly. So that couldn’t be much better.
My fears don’t have anything to do with not having faith in them. It just feels like a watershed moment. Our little baby has never had to go without mommy or daddy when she calls. I love that she has had that security. It’s time though. I know it’s time.
Just as I’m writing this my fear has become clearer. I am scared that she will feel abandoned and not be able to process why mommy and daddy aren’t near. But perhaps my greater fear – is that she doesn’t need me the way she used to. That perhaps she has grown up more than I’m ready for. Deep breaths. Deep breaths…
*Foot note: I guess it’s good we are going to a dark, loud concert on this first outing. If I start to cry, or fall apart – people will just think I really, REALLY like Bono. lol.
About Shannon SchmidShannon traded in her sensible NYC TV producer shoes (they were best for taking the subway), for a pair of Texas Cowboy boots when she married her best friend! He's at fault for making this Yankee a Texan! Shannon writes about all things that make a house a home. Her chief blogging inspiration is being the proud & slightly neurotic mom of a preschool age daughter.
You can find Shannon on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and her new favorite place to hang out, Google+.
Breathe Shan! She's not going to feel abandoned by you leaving for a few hours! And she's not going to need you any less because your not there. She's never going to not need you, she'll just learn from you how to be awesome without you presence. Its what we both have learned from our mothers and whether they are physically present or not, we love them no less because of it.
BREATHEE!!! and have a freaking blast, U2 is awesome in concert and its important for you to be able to find your personal joy without her just like its important for her to stand up and walk on her own… its all development and its all great!
just breathe.
So you think I should breathe, then???
lol.
Thanks D! I know your right:)
I love what Danielle said…that it's important for you to find your personal joy without her just as it's important for her to find her independence and strike out in the world on her own. She really won't feel abandoned…you're leaving her with wonderful people that you trust and she will know that you trust them – and she already has a bond with them and loves them. And you'll go out for the night, and she'll learn that everything is ok, and then when she wakes up – Mommy and Daddy will be back. So she'll get to see that even though you're not always physically in her company, you'll always be back and be there for her. What a wonderful and important thing for her to learn! I think, if anything, this will help reinforce how loved she is.
And, yes, she will always need you to be in her life…and the way you are in her life will always be evolving and shifting….and the bond you two have and the love you share will always be there.
And about crying at U2 – I totally did when they did Sunday Bloody Sunday – so if you break down no worries – other people around you probably will be too 🙂 And it's all ok 🙂
Love you!!
Awwww Shan!! this is a big moment but such a beautiful one at the same time! She is going to need you so so so much in the future but maybe just not in the same way she has before. I know I need my mom still to this day, when I'm feeling not special in the world or something, I just give her a call:) Molly will be doing that for a long long time to come!! That just proves how awesome of a mom you are, to be holding on so tight until she feels secure:) and to also know its time, it just shows how in tune you are to her:) You are awesome!!!
And you guys are going to see U2!!! soo cooooool!!!!! you have to wear a cross around your neck and red finger nails, hehe.
love you!!!!
also, I gave you a blog award:)
Your friends and family have given you great words of encouragement (really well said) and they are right. It's my job to appear confident and like it's no big deal, but it is a big deal. Just not a negative one.
It is one of many big and small rites of passage through which Molly must traverse. She'll be in great hands, but I know, as much as I try to be cool about it, I'll be missing her and worried about her, too. It's our job. We're parents.
Another lovely blog, Shannon. I adore you!
~Daddy
What a fun date! And I agree, she will be fine. Enjoy your time together and know that she is with family, perfectly safe. I'd feel even better knowing that AND that they are parents themselves!
Plus, I'm super jealous you get to go see U2!!!!
Sounds like a fun outing! I think I'd give my right leg, well, maybe not the whole thing, for a date night without kids (they currently tag along). Enjoy U2!